/usr/local/bin/lighttpd-starter allows overriding the php configuration, by only inserting the standard config if:
if [ ! -r $home/.lighttpd.conf ] || [[ ! $(cat "$home/.lighttpd.conf" | grep -P '^(?:[ \t]*fastcgi.server[ \t\+\(=]+".php"|#no-default-php)') ]]; then
This should be documented.