Rather than using jquery.client, it would be nice to have access to the same definitions that are used in Analytics for client-side work. Maybe Varnish configuration for analytics.wikimedia.org/ua-parser with the https://github.com/ua-parser code running behind it for the rare request that isn't yet cached? Purges might be a bit tricky to work out… maybe I shouldn't design these things in a request ticket. :-)
Nice to have, according to the conversation with James below.