eddie@eddie-pc:~$ curl -w "Total time: %{time_total}\n" -i https://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/Special:GlobalAllocation -v
*   Trying 91.198.174.192...
* TCP_NODELAY set
* Connected to meta.wikimedia.org (91.198.174.192) port 443 (#0)
* ALPN, offering http/1.1
* Cipher selection: ALL:!EXPORT:!EXPORT40:!EXPORT56:!aNULL:!LOW:!RC4:@STRENGTH
* successfully set certificate verify locations:
*   CAfile: /etc/ssl/certs/ca-certificates.crt
  CApath: /etc/ssl/certs
* TLSv1.2 (OUT), TLS header, Certificate Status (22):
* TLSv1.2 (OUT), TLS handshake, Client hello (1):
* TLSv1.2 (IN), TLS handshake, Server hello (2):
* TLSv1.2 (IN), TLS handshake, Certificate (11):
* TLSv1.2 (IN), TLS handshake, Server key exchange (12):
* TLSv1.2 (IN), TLS handshake, Server finished (14):
* TLSv1.2 (OUT), TLS handshake, Client key exchange (16):
* TLSv1.2 (OUT), TLS change cipher, Client hello (1):
* TLSv1.2 (OUT), TLS handshake, Finished (20):
* TLSv1.2 (IN), TLS change cipher, Client hello (1):
* TLSv1.2 (IN), TLS handshake, Finished (20):
* SSL connection using TLSv1.2 / ECDHE-ECDSA-AES256-GCM-SHA384
* ALPN, server accepted to use http/1.1
* Server certificate:
*  subject: C=US; ST=California; L=San Francisco; O=Wikimedia Foundation, Inc.; CN=*.wikipedia.org
*  start date: Dec 19 00:00:00 2016 GMT
*  expire date: Jan  3 12:00:00 2018 GMT
*  subjectAltName: host "meta.wikimedia.org" matched cert's "*.wikimedia.org"
*  issuer: C=US; O=DigiCert Inc; OU=www.digicert.com; CN=DigiCert SHA2 High Assurance Server CA
*  SSL certificate verify ok.
> GET /wiki/Special:GlobalAllocation HTTP/1.1
> Host: meta.wikimedia.org
> User-Agent: curl/7.52.1
> Accept: */*
> 
< HTTP/1.1 500 Internal Server Error
HTTP/1.1 500 Internal Server Error
< Date: Sat, 13 May 2017 22:30:42 GMT
Date: Sat, 13 May 2017 22:30:42 GMT
< Content-Type: text/html
Content-Type: text/html
< Transfer-Encoding: chunked
Transfer-Encoding: chunked
< Connection: keep-alive
Connection: keep-alive
< Server: mw1183.eqiad.wmnet
Server: mw1183.eqiad.wmnet
< X-Powered-By: HHVM/3.18.2
X-Powered-By: HHVM/3.18.2
< X-Content-Type-Options: nosniff
X-Content-Type-Options: nosniff
< P3P: CP="This is not a P3P policy! See https://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/Special:CentralAutoLogin/P3P for more info."
P3P: CP="This is not a P3P policy! See https://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/Special:CentralAutoLogin/P3P for more info."
< Vary: Accept-Encoding
Vary: Accept-Encoding
< Backend-Timing: D=39276487 t=1494714603049022
Backend-Timing: D=39276487 t=1494714603049022
< X-Varnish: 315496564, 710803043, 355450278
X-Varnish: 315496564, 710803043, 355450278
< Via: 1.1 varnish-v4, 1.1 varnish-v4, 1.1 varnish-v4
Via: 1.1 varnish-v4, 1.1 varnish-v4, 1.1 varnish-v4
< Age: 0
Age: 0
< X-Cache: cp1065 miss, cp3033 pass, cp3042 pass
X-Cache: cp1065 miss, cp3033 pass, cp3042 pass
< X-Cache-Status: pass
X-Cache-Status: pass
< Strict-Transport-Security: max-age=31536000; includeSubDomains; preload
Strict-Transport-Security: max-age=31536000; includeSubDomains; preload
< Set-Cookie: WMF-Last-Access=13-May-2017;Path=/;HttpOnly;secure;Expires=Wed, 14 Jun 2017 12:00:00 GMT
Set-Cookie: WMF-Last-Access=13-May-2017;Path=/;HttpOnly;secure;Expires=Wed, 14 Jun 2017 12:00:00 GMT
< Set-Cookie: WMF-Last-Access-Global=13-May-2017;Path=/;Domain=.wikimedia.org;HttpOnly;secure;Expires=Wed, 14 Jun 2017 12:00:00 GMT
Set-Cookie: WMF-Last-Access-Global=13-May-2017;Path=/;Domain=.wikimedia.org;HttpOnly;secure;Expires=Wed, 14 Jun 2017 12:00:00 GMT
< X-Analytics: https=1;nocookies=1
X-Analytics: https=1;nocookies=1
< X-Client-IP: 94.176.240.71
X-Client-IP: 94.176.240.71
< Cache-Control: private, s-maxage=0, max-age=0, must-revalidate
Cache-Control: private, s-maxage=0, max-age=0, must-revalidate
< Set-Cookie: GeoIP=DE:BW:Rottenburg:48.48:8.95:v4; Path=/; secure; Domain=.wikimedia.org
Set-Cookie: GeoIP=DE:BW:Rottenburg:48.48:8.95:v4; Path=/; secure; Domain=.wikimedia.org

< 
* Curl_http_done: called premature == 0
* Connection #0 to host meta.wikimedia.org left intact
Total time: 39,581282
eddie@eddie-pc:~$ ssh tools-login.wmflabs.org
<cropped motd>
eddie@tools-bastion-03:~$ curl -w "Total time: %{time_total}\n" -i https://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/Special:GlobalAllocation -v
* Hostname was NOT found in DNS cache
*   Trying 208.80.154.224...
* Connected to meta.wikimedia.org (208.80.154.224) port 443 (#0)
* successfully set certificate verify locations:
*   CAfile: none
  CApath: /etc/ssl/certs
* SSLv3, TLS handshake, Client hello (1):
* SSLv3, TLS handshake, Server hello (2):
* SSLv3, TLS handshake, CERT (11):
* SSLv3, TLS handshake, Server key exchange (12):
* SSLv3, TLS handshake, Server finished (14):
* SSLv3, TLS handshake, Client key exchange (16):
* SSLv3, TLS change cipher, Client hello (1):
* SSLv3, TLS handshake, Finished (20):
* SSLv3, TLS change cipher, Client hello (1):
* SSLv3, TLS handshake, Finished (20):
* SSL connection using ECDHE-ECDSA-AES256-GCM-SHA384
* Server certificate:
*        subject: C=US; ST=California; L=San Francisco; O=Wikimedia Foundation, Inc.; CN=*.wikipedia.org
*        start date: 2016-11-21 08:00:00 GMT
*        expire date: 2017-11-22 07:59:59 GMT
*        subjectAltName: meta.wikimedia.org matched
*        issuer: C=BE; O=GlobalSign nv-sa; CN=GlobalSign Organization Validation CA - SHA256 - G2
*        SSL certificate verify ok.
> GET /wiki/Special:GlobalAllocation HTTP/1.1
> User-Agent: curl/7.35.0
> Host: meta.wikimedia.org
> Accept: */*
> 
< HTTP/1.1 200 OK
HTTP/1.1 200 OK
< Date: Sat, 13 May 2017 22:31:45 GMT
Date: Sat, 13 May 2017 22:31:45 GMT
< Content-Type: text/html
Content-Type: text/html
< Transfer-Encoding: chunked
Transfer-Encoding: chunked
< Connection: keep-alive
Connection: keep-alive
* Server mw1266.eqiad.wmnet is not blacklisted
< Server: mw1266.eqiad.wmnet
Server: mw1266.eqiad.wmnet
< X-Powered-By: HHVM/3.12.14
X-Powered-By: HHVM/3.12.14
< X-Content-Type-Options: nosniff
X-Content-Type-Options: nosniff
< P3P: CP="This is not a P3P policy! See https://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/Special:CentralAutoLogin/P3P for more info."
P3P: CP="This is not a P3P policy! See https://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/Special:CentralAutoLogin/P3P for more info."
< Vary: Accept-Encoding
Vary: Accept-Encoding
< Backend-Timing: D=38513042 t=1494714666850241
Backend-Timing: D=38513042 t=1494714666850241
< X-Varnish: 1014305501, 746245793
X-Varnish: 1014305501, 746245793
< Via: 1.1 varnish-v4, 1.1 varnish-v4
Via: 1.1 varnish-v4, 1.1 varnish-v4
< Accept-Ranges: bytes
Accept-Ranges: bytes
< Age: 0
Age: 0
< X-Cache: cp1052 pass, cp1065 pass
X-Cache: cp1052 pass, cp1065 pass
< X-Cache-Status: pass
X-Cache-Status: pass
< Strict-Transport-Security: max-age=31536000; includeSubDomains; preload
Strict-Transport-Security: max-age=31536000; includeSubDomains; preload
< Set-Cookie: WMF-Last-Access=13-May-2017;Path=/;HttpOnly;secure;Expires=Wed, 14 Jun 2017 12:00:00 GMT
Set-Cookie: WMF-Last-Access=13-May-2017;Path=/;HttpOnly;secure;Expires=Wed, 14 Jun 2017 12:00:00 GMT
< Set-Cookie: WMF-Last-Access-Global=13-May-2017;Path=/;Domain=.wikimedia.org;HttpOnly;secure;Expires=Wed, 14 Jun 2017 12:00:00 GMT
Set-Cookie: WMF-Last-Access-Global=13-May-2017;Path=/;Domain=.wikimedia.org;HttpOnly;secure;Expires=Wed, 14 Jun 2017 12:00:00 GMT
< X-Analytics: https=1;nocookies=1
X-Analytics: https=1;nocookies=1
< X-Client-IP: 10.68.23.58
X-Client-IP: 10.68.23.58
< Cache-Control: private, s-maxage=0, max-age=0, must-revalidate
Cache-Control: private, s-maxage=0, max-age=0, must-revalidate
< Set-Cookie: GeoIP=:::::v4; Path=/; secure; Domain=.wikimedia.org
Set-Cookie: GeoIP=:::::v4; Path=/; secure; Domain=.wikimedia.org

< 
* Connection #0 to host meta.wikimedia.org left intact
Total time: 38.536