What it says on the tin!
Turns out I am actually blocked on this. I was supposed to delegate these permissions to an account like firstname.lastname@example.org, but this role account does not exist. I tried pinging @chasemp to see if he could create the account for me, but he did not respond at the time, and I didn't have the chance to follow up again. I need to do this.
After much hacking at it, I now have an account suitable for delegating Google Webmaster Tools access to. It's email@example.com. Despite the fact that anything after the + is supposed to be replaceable, you can onlylog in to the account if you use exactly firstname.lastname@example.org... don't ask why, because we don't know. But, it works.
I also found out that I lost access to noc@, however @chasemp flung in to the rescue and gave me the new password, so we're all good on that front, too.
NOW I JUST NEED TO TICK THE BOXES ZOMG
We did some initial investigation here and decided that this data is not incredibly useful for us. As such, for now, we're not proceeding with dashboarding. Declining this task accordingly.