It is blatantly obvious that *some* form of string parsing functionality is needed on WMF wikis - this is most clearly demonstrated by [[Category:String manipulation templates]], an entire category dedicated to horrible abuses of currently-enabled markup to allow such functionality. However, developers have repeatedly stated that StringFunctions is not going to happen (bug 6455), which leaves only the option of enabling some actual programming language.
It has been suggested that much of the functionality being performed by templates should instead be moved to extensions, and while this may be true, turning template functionality into an extension should be the last step, not the first (or, rather, it can only work as the last step, and that's assuming there's even sufficient inertia to pursue the functionality through the extension's development, testing, and deployment; see bug 14207 and bug 15308 for a significant case of there not being such inertia).
Version: unspecified
Severity: enhancement